It’s no secret that we’re not fans of the whole PUA community. I think a lot of it is sleazy and downright manipulative. Yes, I learned this PUA stuff too in the beginning and it definitely worked but it doesn’t make you happy. Why you ask? Because you’re doing things that aren’t really you. You’re doing all this game playing that’s actually pretty manipulative.
Not only is it manipulative, but the type of women you meet like this will not be very emotionally healthy and mature women. Think about it. The type of women that like these type of games will also be the type of women that will enjoy playing games on you. If you want this needless drama in your life, then definitely go for it. And sometimes a guy has to date these type of women to realize that it’s not the way to go. I know I did. I hope you don’t, because as I can attest that can result in some painful relationships. But for some that will be your journey.
Also if you “game” women then you will eventually get jaded by the type of women you approach and attract. You’ll start to think that maybe all women are like this, but that’s not the case. You attract what you are. So if you’re gamey and immature then that’s exactly what you’ll attract. That’s a drama filled road that I definitely don’t recommend taking.
Even specific things that sound like a good idea on the surface, like doing a thousand cold approaches, have side effects. If you start doing that you might develop some narcissistic tendencies, which let’s be honest, most of these PUA’s have. I know that I was definitely heading down that path myself.
You start seeing women as a numbers game, which it is if all you do is cold approach. You might start developing weird personality traits as well that might even alienate you from your friends. Think about some of these PUA’s you know, are they the type of guys you want to grab a beer and watch a game with? Introduce to your friends? I don’t know about you, but the majority of them I would not.
What’s a better thing to do instead of doing a thousand cold approaches? Start joining clubs, sports, groups, events where you naturally will socialize with people. Even the most male dominated activities, like MMA, have women in them. Almost any hobby you have you can make more social with a little effort. You play basketball? Maybe you join a co-ed league. A huge gamer? There’s a lot of events that cater to gamers like E3 or Comic-Con. It’s probably going to be like only 20% women there, but so what? At least you’ll be meeting women that already have a shared passion of yours. How easy do you think it will be for you to have a conversation about something you already know?
Instead of putting yourself through cold approaches, which almost no guy likes doing all the time, why not do more activities and make them social. That way your life is not revolving around women, which it never should, and you’ll be improving or learning new skills. It’s two birds with one stone. Think about learning how to dance, you could pick up salsa and you’ll be outnumbered by girls. I know this is a great way to meet girls since I’ve done it. Not only was it fun but I learned something I’d been interested in learning for a long time, and as an added bonus I met some great girls through it.
You can still approach girls on the street or in a coffee shop of course. You should if you see a girl you’d like to talk to. If you’re getting a coffee in the middle of the day and you see a girl you like, then you should definitely talk to her. But that’s very different than forcing yourself to go somewhere and do tons of approaches like some kind of dating robot.
By doing things you enjoy and meeting girls more naturally you’ll see that you enjoy your life a hell of a lot more and you’ll have more fun talking to girls. At the end of the day that’s what it’s all about, enjoying and getting the most out of your life.
P.S. Let us know some fun activities that you’ve done where it was also very social in the comments.