Ever wonder why you’re naturally attracted to “bad boys” even if you consciously know they’re not good for you or you know what kind of guy you want on paper but fall for something else?
We know that you can’t build a relationship solely on passion. Does that mean that it has to be one or the other? That there’s only long term relationships with little passion or short relationships with all passion?
There is a middle ground. We can have both.
That’s hard for our culture to understand sometimes since so many of us want to simplify things. We want everything binary. Right or wrong. Black or white. Passion or comfort.
Esther Perel encapsulates the problem in her book, Mating in Captivity:
“Romantics value intensity over stability. Realists value security over passion. But both are often disappointed, for few people can live happily at either extreme.”
This sums up the problem. Neither is happy. It always feels like you have to give up one for the other. Why can’t we have both?
There’s different ways to have that, but one thing is for sure:
it doesn’t come naturally. [Read more…] about Passion is Uncertainty
So many girls(and guys) think the problem is the partner they’re choosing. I’m sure we all have friends or known people to say “my ex was a psycho” or “I’m going to choose a more mature guy, my ex was so immature”. That’s not the problem, it’s just a symptom.
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